The "Only Truly Shitty Teams That are Now Also On Their Second QB" Duo
32.) Chicago Bears (0-2 = 46-79)
31.) Houston Texans (0-2 = 37-51)
I didn't like the Bears before the season, but for 5 quarters they were competent. They didn't get embarrassed by Green Bay, and they were in the game against Arizona. Then Cutler threw a pick, got injured on the return, and now they're the worst team by point differential, and about to play an angry 0-2 team in Seattle with Jimmy Clausen. For the Texans, I'll just say this: Bill O'Brien has pretty much wasted all the positive response he garnered from Hard Knocks. He seemed to handle the QB competition ably on the show, but it's been madness in reality. He know shows he won't trust Hoyer and his other option is such a scatter-shot thrower it makes Rex Grossman look accurate.
The "Awww, that's Cute, You Got a Win" Trio
30.) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1 = 32-40)
29.) Cleveland Browns (1-1 = 38-45)
28.) Oakland Raiders (1-1 = 50-66)
Neither of these three teams is good, but they all followed up bad Week 1 losses with nice Week 2 wins. The Jaguars and Raiders played seemingly good teams and beat them legitimately (as in without turnovers or random special teams plays). The Browns played a mediocre team, but handled them well. None of the three will have many positive Sunday's this year, but they also had a win that featured the single thing that makes their future at least somewhat positive: good play from their young QB. Bortles had arguably the best game as a pro. Johnny Manziel definitely had his best game, and Derek Carr had a game that had a top-flight QB done it, that performance would be praised for weeks. Good stuff by all three.
The "Team With College Implications" Trio
27.) Philadelphia Eagles (0-2 = 34-46)
26.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1 = 40-61)
25.) Tennessee Titans (1-1 = 56-42)
While Jamies Winston showed he belongs in the NFL with a calm, composed performance in his first road game, and Marcus Mariota showed he still belongs but it may take a little time, Chip Kelly showed that those who think he is closing in on a return to college may not be too far off. That offense was pathetic. It was so predictable, so lazy, so arrogant. I love that his plan to do the most random thing possible at RB failed against the team who is the test case for showing that the RB is only as good as his OL. For the Buccaneers and Titans, the Week 1 game will likely be the worst performance of the season for one and the best for the other, but in Week 2 they showed they'll stay entertaining even when the results are reversed. Quick thing, though, Titans: cover people downfield just a little.
The "Utterly Boring Mediocre Middle" Quatro
24.) Washington Redskins (1-1 = 34-27)
23.) New Orleans Saints (0-2 = 38-57)
22.) Detroit Lions (0-2 = 44-59)
21.) New York Giants (0-2 = 46-51)
I have nothing good to say about any of these teams, but I will try. For the Redskins, their defense is legitimately good. They might have days that go badly if the offense puts them in bad positions, but it is a nice unit that has good pieces. And that's it. I have nothing good to say about the rest of them. The Lions still have a pulse defensively, but they have QB issues and something seems wrong with Calvin. The Saints are like the Broncos, but actually worse in that they're losing and it is more sad and depressing than anything else. The Giants are screwing me again, knowing that they are so close to being 2-0 in a division where 9-7 may win it. Somehow, the winner of Giants-Redskins on Thursday may legitimately have the best case to win the NFC East. Actually, I have something good to say about the Giants: the OBJ is just insane.
The "That's Why Week 1 Teaches You Nothing" Quatro
20.) Minnesota Vikings (1-1 = 29-36)
19.) San Francisco 49ers (1-1 = 38-46)
17.) St. Louis Rams (1-1 = 44-55)
So, the Vikings and 49ers played that pathetic game last Monday Night. The 49ers looked like a reasonable copy of what they were from 2011-13. The Vikings looked drunk. Well, one week later the 49ers decided to basically not cover anyone beyond 15 yards downfield, and the Vikings played like we expect the Vikings to - with a stout defense and a good game from Bridgewater and Peterson. As for the Rams, who knows man? Their Week 1 win showed so much promise, but they were lifeless in Week 2. Maybe we'll look back and say that was a hiccup, and that the Redskins were frisky, but that was the 2011-13 Rams: great one week, lifeless the next.
The "We Are Close to Time to Panic Time" Duo
17.) Miami Dolphins (1-1 = 37-33)
16.) Baltimore Ravens (0-2 = 46-56)
15.) Indianapolis Colts (0-2 = 21-47)
The Dolphins and Colts coaching staffs are basically on high alert the rest of the season. The Dolphins have legitimate playoff hopes - legitimate enough to fire Philbin if they don't make it, and they've failed to show up through two games. The Colts are a mess right now. Of course, if Vinatieri makes a 29-yard field goal, and if Gore doesn't fumble at the 1, they probably beat the Jets, and of course they are in the AFC South so they'll almost definitely make the playoffs but people should panic if Luck's play doesn't rise from the last two weeks. As for the Ravens, they need to learn how to play without Terrell Suggs quickly. That was abhorrent. The Ravens still have a Top-10 defense in terms of talent, and they can't piss away the games where Flacco and the offense plays well. Their schedule gives them an immediate chance to recover in the AFC North, but they'll need to figure out that OLB rotation to do anything.
The "Let's Not Fall Off the Edge Too Much" Trio
14.) Buffalo Bills (1-1 = 59-54)
13.) Kansas City Chiefs (1-1 = 51-51)
12.) Seattle Seahawks (0-2 = 48-61)
All three of these teams had chance to make statements in Week 2. The Bills had a chance to put an early dent in the Patriots defense. The Chiefs had a chance to kill most of the surviving heads of the Manning Hydra. The Seahawks had the chance to go to Lambeau and basically say, '"you know what, the NFC is still ours". None of that happened. I really don't know which loss was the worse. Probably the Bills, as that was the type of loss that is more likely to have lasting implications. The Chiefs lost a tough game, but they showed enough to still feel positive, especially in their pass rush and passing game. For the Seahawks, it is still early and they haven't even had a road game yet, but they need to figure out how to involve the guy that they gave up a 1st round pick and their starting, pro-bowl, center. People will concentrate on the loss of Chancellor, but the defense was good enough against Green Bay. The offense was clearly not. If Marshawn Lynch gets just 41 yards AND Jimmy Graham is held to one catch, they won't win.
The "New Divisional Rivalry That We'll All Care About This Year" Duo
11.) Atlanta Falcons (2-0 = 50-44)
10.) Carolina Panthers (2-0 = 44-26)
Look, the Falcons could easily be 0-2 and the Panthers were not all that impressive in either game, ut they're both 2-0 with the potential to get better. The Falcons defense is still figuring out this Dan Quinn defense and Mike Shanahan offense. The Panthers will likely get better as Devin Funchess gets more reps and the o-line gets more time together. And they've already banked two wins. The Panthers defense is playing at a special level right now, which will only improve once Kuechly gets back. I realize they've played no one, but giving up just 4.1 y/a through two games is insane. The Falcons have Julio Jones, and I really like the signing of Leonard Hankerson. That offense will get better. I really can't wait for their two matchups.
The "Contenders: AFC Division" Quatro
9.) New York Jets (2-0 = 51-17)
8.) San Diego Chargers (1-1 = 52-52)
7.) Cincinnati Bengals (2-0 = 57-32)
6.) Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1 = 64-46)
At least one of these teams will miss the playoffs (unless the Broncos and/or Patriots miss the playoffs) because teh Colts will sleepwalk to 9-10 wins and win the South. That said, through two weeks they've all looked good. The two losses they've had as a group are a loss to New England where Pittsburgh shot itself in the foot in what was in reality a winnable game, and a Chargers loss to one of these four teams. The Jets defense is amazing, but won't get 5 turnovers a game for 16 weeks. Philip Rivers is amazing, but these short passes don't always work even if you are completing 80% of them. The Bengals are solid, but you know Dalton + Playoffs = The Sads. And the Steelers are really good, unless they have to play another really good team and then decide not to prepare how to play defense. They all have flaws, but they all also have really significant, impactful strengths. I still think top-to-bottom the NFC is better, but if you limit it to just 'top' it may be the AFC.
The "We Know How You Feel" Duo
5.) Dallas Cowboys (2-0 = 47-36)
4.) Arizona Cardinals (2-0 = 79-42)
The Cardinals were 6-0 last year in games that Carson Palmer started. They were 11-3 in games that Carson Palmer and Drew Stanton started. They were 0-3 with Ryan Lindley, which killed their season. The Cowboys may go 8-1 in the games Romo starts, but they now have to play 7 games with Brandon Weeden and/or Matt Cassel. The Cowboys, like the Cardinals last year, have a style of playing that few have and can likely do better with a backup than most, but it is just sad. Let's pour one out for the Cowboys. Before Romo got hurt, they looked like the best team in the NFC. Now they'll have to hope to tread water in seven games to have a chance to make a run late. For the Cardinals, they are now 14-2 in the last 16 games started by Carson Palmer. Now I'm not a proponent of QB Winz, but it shows that since mid-2013, when the Cardinals get average play from their QB, they are an elite team.
The "This Week in the Manning Has A Noodle-Arm" Uno
3.) Denver Broncos (2-0 = 50-37)
I get it, I get it, Peyton Manning is terrible. But can we give them even a shred of credit of coming back from 14-0 down, in a tough place to play, against a divisional rival, on a short week. No? No, we can't? Ok, I guess Manning really does suck then.
The "Why are we Playing the Next 19 Weeks" Duo
2.) Green Bay Packers (2-0 = 58-40)
1.) New England Patriots (2-0 = 68-53)
I mean really, why even play the rest of this season, let's just have these two play now.
Looking Ahead to Next Week's Games
Quick note: the games seem pretty awful this week. Granted, you never know when you'll get a good game, and who knows, 11 weeks from now random games like Atlanta @ Dallas may have huge seeding implications, but yeah, this is not good.
16.) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1) @ New England Patriots (2-0) (1:00 - CBS)
I call it "Is there a line high enough" Sunday, as when the Patriots are up 21-3 with two minutes gone in the 1st quarter and Gronk is spiking a ball into the end zone, we'll all ask ourselves why we didn't just take easy money with Patriots -14.
15.) Oakland Raiders (1-1) @ Cleveland Browns (1-1) (1:00 - CBS)
14.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1) @ Houston Texans (0-2) (1:00 - FOX)
I call it "Isn't Fun two of these teams may get their 2nd win" Sunday, as one of the Raiders and Browns will start 2-1, and if it is the Raiders that is actually a reasonable resume through three weeks. For the Buccaneers, if they win they'll also be 2-1 and start putting that laughable Week 1 game behind them. Also, let's see if Bill O'Brien turns to Tom Savage before, during or after this game. I really wish Hard Knocks continued to see his whole thought process behind what he's done with his QBs.
13.) Chicago Bears (0-2) @ Seattle Seahawks (0-2) (4:25 - FOX)
I call it "This is America's Game of the Week... Well, America likes violence, right?" as this is the game most people will see at 4:25 PM EST on Sunday, better known as the prime slot for CBS and FOX. Obviously, given that it will be Jimmy Clausen playing in Seattle against an upset Seahawks team, this is also a 'there is no line too high' situation, but even if Cutler was healthy, FOX really thought this was the best game this week.
12.) Washington Redskins (1-1) @ New York Giants (0-2) (TNF - CBS)
11.) Atlanta Falcons (2-0) @ Dallas Cowboys (2-0) (1:00 - FOX)
I call it "The NFC East Factory of Sadness" Thursday and Sunday, as the Giants get a chance to finally get a win, or alternatively to lose in excruciating fashion again, and the Cowboys get a chance to start Brandon Weeden. I will say this, both the Giants and Falcons have played exciting games each of the first two weeks, so maybe that will continue as well. Quick note on the Falcons, what if they pull at 2010 or 2012 and go 13-3 for some inexplicable reason? Is that really out of the question?
10.) San Diego Chargers (1-1) @ Minnesota Vikings (1-1) (1:00 - CBS)
9.) Denver Broncos (2-0) @ Detroit Lions (0-2) (SNF - NBC)
8.) Kansas City Chiefs (1-1) @ Green Bay Packers (2-0) (MNF - ESPN)
I call it "AFCW vs. NFCN Challenge" Sunday and Monday, as we get three games with the Top-3 AFC West teams (sorry, Oakland), and Top-3 NFC North teams (not so sorry, Chicago). It's not like vs. like (the Broncos / Lions one is particularly a mismatch if Stafford is out), but in a week with a lot of divisional games, this intra-division competition is nice. I like when the schedulers do random things like this in any given week.
7.) Philadelphia Eagles (0-2) @ New York Jets (2-0) (1:00 - FOX)
I call it "Eagles Schaudenfreude Day?" Sunday, as we get the Eagles, with their bad o-line, bad running game, and bad QB going up against the league's best defense through two games. The Jets defensive line is monstrous, their LBs are good in coverage, and their corners are great in coverage. The one thing they lack is edge rush, but that's not too important against Philadelphia. This could get ugly, which for people who find Chip Kelly an aggressively arrogant jack-off really exciting.
6.) Buffalo Bills (1-1) @ Miami Dolphins (1-1) (4:25 - CBS)
5.) Cincinnati Bengals (2-0) @ Baltimore Ravens (0-2) (1:00 - CBS)
4.) Indianapolis Colts (0-2) @ Tennessee Titans (1-1) (1:00 - CBS)
3.) New Orleans Saints (0-2) @ Carolina Panthers (2-0) (1:00 - FOX)
2.) San Francisco 49ers (1-1) @ Arizona Cardinals (2-0) (4:05 - FOX)
I call it "DIVISION..... Division!" Sunday, as we get five interesting inter-division games. The Bills and Dolphins get to see which team coming off a disappointing loss get more disappointed and which go right back to 2-1 and in happy-ville. The Bengals and Titans get a chance to drive a stake into a division rival very early, which for Tennessee would be extra nice given recent history. I guess the Panthers get to do that as well, but personally I think they are going after bigger things this season. I want to quickly note the Panthers started 2-0 last year as well before a sullen home loss to Pittsburgh, so they'll hope that doesn't repeat. Finally the Cardinals, a team I had way too high on my watchability rankings, but they've somehow almost been more watchable than that. They'll likely by Top-6 each week they play.
1.) Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) @ St. Louis Rams (1-1) (1:00 - CBS)
The "Does This Say More About the Week 3 Schedule, or More About What I Like To Watch" Sunday, as yes, I think this is the best game. The matchup of the Steelers offense against that awesome Rams d-line (which plays better in St. Louis) and the Rams offense against a defense that could be had. This game has so many possible outcomes really. Peeking ahead to Week 4, there are better games on the way, but I legitimately think this is a good game.
32.) Chicago Bears (0-2 = 46-79)
31.) Houston Texans (0-2 = 37-51)
I didn't like the Bears before the season, but for 5 quarters they were competent. They didn't get embarrassed by Green Bay, and they were in the game against Arizona. Then Cutler threw a pick, got injured on the return, and now they're the worst team by point differential, and about to play an angry 0-2 team in Seattle with Jimmy Clausen. For the Texans, I'll just say this: Bill O'Brien has pretty much wasted all the positive response he garnered from Hard Knocks. He seemed to handle the QB competition ably on the show, but it's been madness in reality. He know shows he won't trust Hoyer and his other option is such a scatter-shot thrower it makes Rex Grossman look accurate.
The "Awww, that's Cute, You Got a Win" Trio
30.) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1 = 32-40)
29.) Cleveland Browns (1-1 = 38-45)
28.) Oakland Raiders (1-1 = 50-66)
Neither of these three teams is good, but they all followed up bad Week 1 losses with nice Week 2 wins. The Jaguars and Raiders played seemingly good teams and beat them legitimately (as in without turnovers or random special teams plays). The Browns played a mediocre team, but handled them well. None of the three will have many positive Sunday's this year, but they also had a win that featured the single thing that makes their future at least somewhat positive: good play from their young QB. Bortles had arguably the best game as a pro. Johnny Manziel definitely had his best game, and Derek Carr had a game that had a top-flight QB done it, that performance would be praised for weeks. Good stuff by all three.
The "Team With College Implications" Trio
27.) Philadelphia Eagles (0-2 = 34-46)
26.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1 = 40-61)
25.) Tennessee Titans (1-1 = 56-42)
While Jamies Winston showed he belongs in the NFL with a calm, composed performance in his first road game, and Marcus Mariota showed he still belongs but it may take a little time, Chip Kelly showed that those who think he is closing in on a return to college may not be too far off. That offense was pathetic. It was so predictable, so lazy, so arrogant. I love that his plan to do the most random thing possible at RB failed against the team who is the test case for showing that the RB is only as good as his OL. For the Buccaneers and Titans, the Week 1 game will likely be the worst performance of the season for one and the best for the other, but in Week 2 they showed they'll stay entertaining even when the results are reversed. Quick thing, though, Titans: cover people downfield just a little.
The "Utterly Boring Mediocre Middle" Quatro
24.) Washington Redskins (1-1 = 34-27)
23.) New Orleans Saints (0-2 = 38-57)
22.) Detroit Lions (0-2 = 44-59)
21.) New York Giants (0-2 = 46-51)
I have nothing good to say about any of these teams, but I will try. For the Redskins, their defense is legitimately good. They might have days that go badly if the offense puts them in bad positions, but it is a nice unit that has good pieces. And that's it. I have nothing good to say about the rest of them. The Lions still have a pulse defensively, but they have QB issues and something seems wrong with Calvin. The Saints are like the Broncos, but actually worse in that they're losing and it is more sad and depressing than anything else. The Giants are screwing me again, knowing that they are so close to being 2-0 in a division where 9-7 may win it. Somehow, the winner of Giants-Redskins on Thursday may legitimately have the best case to win the NFC East. Actually, I have something good to say about the Giants: the OBJ is just insane.
The "That's Why Week 1 Teaches You Nothing" Quatro
20.) Minnesota Vikings (1-1 = 29-36)
19.) San Francisco 49ers (1-1 = 38-46)
17.) St. Louis Rams (1-1 = 44-55)
So, the Vikings and 49ers played that pathetic game last Monday Night. The 49ers looked like a reasonable copy of what they were from 2011-13. The Vikings looked drunk. Well, one week later the 49ers decided to basically not cover anyone beyond 15 yards downfield, and the Vikings played like we expect the Vikings to - with a stout defense and a good game from Bridgewater and Peterson. As for the Rams, who knows man? Their Week 1 win showed so much promise, but they were lifeless in Week 2. Maybe we'll look back and say that was a hiccup, and that the Redskins were frisky, but that was the 2011-13 Rams: great one week, lifeless the next.
The "We Are Close to Time to Panic Time" Duo
17.) Miami Dolphins (1-1 = 37-33)
16.) Baltimore Ravens (0-2 = 46-56)
15.) Indianapolis Colts (0-2 = 21-47)
The Dolphins and Colts coaching staffs are basically on high alert the rest of the season. The Dolphins have legitimate playoff hopes - legitimate enough to fire Philbin if they don't make it, and they've failed to show up through two games. The Colts are a mess right now. Of course, if Vinatieri makes a 29-yard field goal, and if Gore doesn't fumble at the 1, they probably beat the Jets, and of course they are in the AFC South so they'll almost definitely make the playoffs but people should panic if Luck's play doesn't rise from the last two weeks. As for the Ravens, they need to learn how to play without Terrell Suggs quickly. That was abhorrent. The Ravens still have a Top-10 defense in terms of talent, and they can't piss away the games where Flacco and the offense plays well. Their schedule gives them an immediate chance to recover in the AFC North, but they'll need to figure out that OLB rotation to do anything.
The "Let's Not Fall Off the Edge Too Much" Trio
14.) Buffalo Bills (1-1 = 59-54)
13.) Kansas City Chiefs (1-1 = 51-51)
12.) Seattle Seahawks (0-2 = 48-61)
All three of these teams had chance to make statements in Week 2. The Bills had a chance to put an early dent in the Patriots defense. The Chiefs had a chance to kill most of the surviving heads of the Manning Hydra. The Seahawks had the chance to go to Lambeau and basically say, '"you know what, the NFC is still ours". None of that happened. I really don't know which loss was the worse. Probably the Bills, as that was the type of loss that is more likely to have lasting implications. The Chiefs lost a tough game, but they showed enough to still feel positive, especially in their pass rush and passing game. For the Seahawks, it is still early and they haven't even had a road game yet, but they need to figure out how to involve the guy that they gave up a 1st round pick and their starting, pro-bowl, center. People will concentrate on the loss of Chancellor, but the defense was good enough against Green Bay. The offense was clearly not. If Marshawn Lynch gets just 41 yards AND Jimmy Graham is held to one catch, they won't win.
The "New Divisional Rivalry That We'll All Care About This Year" Duo
11.) Atlanta Falcons (2-0 = 50-44)
10.) Carolina Panthers (2-0 = 44-26)
Look, the Falcons could easily be 0-2 and the Panthers were not all that impressive in either game, ut they're both 2-0 with the potential to get better. The Falcons defense is still figuring out this Dan Quinn defense and Mike Shanahan offense. The Panthers will likely get better as Devin Funchess gets more reps and the o-line gets more time together. And they've already banked two wins. The Panthers defense is playing at a special level right now, which will only improve once Kuechly gets back. I realize they've played no one, but giving up just 4.1 y/a through two games is insane. The Falcons have Julio Jones, and I really like the signing of Leonard Hankerson. That offense will get better. I really can't wait for their two matchups.
The "Contenders: AFC Division" Quatro
9.) New York Jets (2-0 = 51-17)
8.) San Diego Chargers (1-1 = 52-52)
7.) Cincinnati Bengals (2-0 = 57-32)
6.) Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1 = 64-46)
At least one of these teams will miss the playoffs (unless the Broncos and/or Patriots miss the playoffs) because teh Colts will sleepwalk to 9-10 wins and win the South. That said, through two weeks they've all looked good. The two losses they've had as a group are a loss to New England where Pittsburgh shot itself in the foot in what was in reality a winnable game, and a Chargers loss to one of these four teams. The Jets defense is amazing, but won't get 5 turnovers a game for 16 weeks. Philip Rivers is amazing, but these short passes don't always work even if you are completing 80% of them. The Bengals are solid, but you know Dalton + Playoffs = The Sads. And the Steelers are really good, unless they have to play another really good team and then decide not to prepare how to play defense. They all have flaws, but they all also have really significant, impactful strengths. I still think top-to-bottom the NFC is better, but if you limit it to just 'top' it may be the AFC.
The "We Know How You Feel" Duo
5.) Dallas Cowboys (2-0 = 47-36)
4.) Arizona Cardinals (2-0 = 79-42)
The Cardinals were 6-0 last year in games that Carson Palmer started. They were 11-3 in games that Carson Palmer and Drew Stanton started. They were 0-3 with Ryan Lindley, which killed their season. The Cowboys may go 8-1 in the games Romo starts, but they now have to play 7 games with Brandon Weeden and/or Matt Cassel. The Cowboys, like the Cardinals last year, have a style of playing that few have and can likely do better with a backup than most, but it is just sad. Let's pour one out for the Cowboys. Before Romo got hurt, they looked like the best team in the NFC. Now they'll have to hope to tread water in seven games to have a chance to make a run late. For the Cardinals, they are now 14-2 in the last 16 games started by Carson Palmer. Now I'm not a proponent of QB Winz, but it shows that since mid-2013, when the Cardinals get average play from their QB, they are an elite team.
The "This Week in the Manning Has A Noodle-Arm" Uno
3.) Denver Broncos (2-0 = 50-37)
I get it, I get it, Peyton Manning is terrible. But can we give them even a shred of credit of coming back from 14-0 down, in a tough place to play, against a divisional rival, on a short week. No? No, we can't? Ok, I guess Manning really does suck then.
The "Why are we Playing the Next 19 Weeks" Duo
2.) Green Bay Packers (2-0 = 58-40)
1.) New England Patriots (2-0 = 68-53)
I mean really, why even play the rest of this season, let's just have these two play now.
Looking Ahead to Next Week's Games
Quick note: the games seem pretty awful this week. Granted, you never know when you'll get a good game, and who knows, 11 weeks from now random games like Atlanta @ Dallas may have huge seeding implications, but yeah, this is not good.
16.) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1) @ New England Patriots (2-0) (1:00 - CBS)
I call it "Is there a line high enough" Sunday, as when the Patriots are up 21-3 with two minutes gone in the 1st quarter and Gronk is spiking a ball into the end zone, we'll all ask ourselves why we didn't just take easy money with Patriots -14.
15.) Oakland Raiders (1-1) @ Cleveland Browns (1-1) (1:00 - CBS)
14.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1) @ Houston Texans (0-2) (1:00 - FOX)
I call it "Isn't Fun two of these teams may get their 2nd win" Sunday, as one of the Raiders and Browns will start 2-1, and if it is the Raiders that is actually a reasonable resume through three weeks. For the Buccaneers, if they win they'll also be 2-1 and start putting that laughable Week 1 game behind them. Also, let's see if Bill O'Brien turns to Tom Savage before, during or after this game. I really wish Hard Knocks continued to see his whole thought process behind what he's done with his QBs.
13.) Chicago Bears (0-2) @ Seattle Seahawks (0-2) (4:25 - FOX)
I call it "This is America's Game of the Week... Well, America likes violence, right?" as this is the game most people will see at 4:25 PM EST on Sunday, better known as the prime slot for CBS and FOX. Obviously, given that it will be Jimmy Clausen playing in Seattle against an upset Seahawks team, this is also a 'there is no line too high' situation, but even if Cutler was healthy, FOX really thought this was the best game this week.
12.) Washington Redskins (1-1) @ New York Giants (0-2) (TNF - CBS)
11.) Atlanta Falcons (2-0) @ Dallas Cowboys (2-0) (1:00 - FOX)
I call it "The NFC East Factory of Sadness" Thursday and Sunday, as the Giants get a chance to finally get a win, or alternatively to lose in excruciating fashion again, and the Cowboys get a chance to start Brandon Weeden. I will say this, both the Giants and Falcons have played exciting games each of the first two weeks, so maybe that will continue as well. Quick note on the Falcons, what if they pull at 2010 or 2012 and go 13-3 for some inexplicable reason? Is that really out of the question?
10.) San Diego Chargers (1-1) @ Minnesota Vikings (1-1) (1:00 - CBS)
9.) Denver Broncos (2-0) @ Detroit Lions (0-2) (SNF - NBC)
8.) Kansas City Chiefs (1-1) @ Green Bay Packers (2-0) (MNF - ESPN)
I call it "AFCW vs. NFCN Challenge" Sunday and Monday, as we get three games with the Top-3 AFC West teams (sorry, Oakland), and Top-3 NFC North teams (not so sorry, Chicago). It's not like vs. like (the Broncos / Lions one is particularly a mismatch if Stafford is out), but in a week with a lot of divisional games, this intra-division competition is nice. I like when the schedulers do random things like this in any given week.
7.) Philadelphia Eagles (0-2) @ New York Jets (2-0) (1:00 - FOX)
I call it "Eagles Schaudenfreude Day?" Sunday, as we get the Eagles, with their bad o-line, bad running game, and bad QB going up against the league's best defense through two games. The Jets defensive line is monstrous, their LBs are good in coverage, and their corners are great in coverage. The one thing they lack is edge rush, but that's not too important against Philadelphia. This could get ugly, which for people who find Chip Kelly an aggressively arrogant jack-off really exciting.
6.) Buffalo Bills (1-1) @ Miami Dolphins (1-1) (4:25 - CBS)
5.) Cincinnati Bengals (2-0) @ Baltimore Ravens (0-2) (1:00 - CBS)
4.) Indianapolis Colts (0-2) @ Tennessee Titans (1-1) (1:00 - CBS)
3.) New Orleans Saints (0-2) @ Carolina Panthers (2-0) (1:00 - FOX)
2.) San Francisco 49ers (1-1) @ Arizona Cardinals (2-0) (4:05 - FOX)
I call it "DIVISION..... Division!" Sunday, as we get five interesting inter-division games. The Bills and Dolphins get to see which team coming off a disappointing loss get more disappointed and which go right back to 2-1 and in happy-ville. The Bengals and Titans get a chance to drive a stake into a division rival very early, which for Tennessee would be extra nice given recent history. I guess the Panthers get to do that as well, but personally I think they are going after bigger things this season. I want to quickly note the Panthers started 2-0 last year as well before a sullen home loss to Pittsburgh, so they'll hope that doesn't repeat. Finally the Cardinals, a team I had way too high on my watchability rankings, but they've somehow almost been more watchable than that. They'll likely by Top-6 each week they play.
1.) Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) @ St. Louis Rams (1-1) (1:00 - CBS)
The "Does This Say More About the Week 3 Schedule, or More About What I Like To Watch" Sunday, as yes, I think this is the best game. The matchup of the Steelers offense against that awesome Rams d-line (which plays better in St. Louis) and the Rams offense against a defense that could be had. This game has so many possible outcomes really. Peeking ahead to Week 4, there are better games on the way, but I legitimately think this is a good game.
