Monday, May 7, 2012

Ranking the Talking Heads

The impetus for this post started when I watched the Spurs/Jazz Game 1 on Sunday, being called by Mike Tirico and Hubie Brown, who has to be pushing 80 by now, and it was only furthered after watching Inside the NBA on TNT the last two nights. For all the people that like to claim that they watch the game on mute, or would readily switch to some viewing alternative with just crowd noise and no commentators, I'm someone who readily admits that commentators are vital and necessary, and the good ones make a game that much better. The sports world has now been infused with as many halftime/pregame/postgame shows that they've taken on a life-blood of their own, and a lot of that is berthed from the success of Inside the NBA. Anyway, this is just my personal rankings of sports broadcast media's best studio shows (pregame and postgame) and announcing teams. My one caveat is that I can use teams and shows that are now gone, but I'm limiting this to just the past 10 years, which is basically my true life as a sports fan. Obviously, not everyone is listed, but I do go across the breadth of my personal opinions, from the worst to the best. One caveat is that the show/team had to be there for at least two years, which is mainly because my real #1 was there for just a year, so I put them at honorable mention.



Studio Shows

Honorable Mention: Ahmad Rashad, Gary Payton and Chris Webber (NBA GameTime on the NBA Channel)

I've spoken about this trio before. They were only together for one season, but my God was the duo of Payton and Webber just brilliant. They did offer some insight, but it was mostly them just making each other and the audience laugh. This will come across racist, but they just made it seem so damn fun to be a black man who can make people laugh. A lot of the time, the funniest moments were when both were just laughing and mumbling out some incoherent bullshit, but at home, we all knew whatever it was The Glove just threw out there was funny, so we laughed along with them. They are gone, but never forgotten.


9.) ABC/ESPN NBA Halftime with Michael Wilbon, Jon Barry, Magic Johnson and Chris Broussard

I understand why ESPN took this direction, having just a roundtable of four basketball players, made up with two basketball journalists, one average NBA player and one legend. They tried to copy the Inside the NBA team, but in my opinion, they really struck out. Why is Inside great? They are really, really funny and have great chemistry. Chemistry in these settings is the single most important thing a team can have, and the ESPN guys do not have it at all. They are not that funny. Wilbon just seems out-of-place without TK by his side. Magic talks in way too man platitudes. I do like Jon Barry, though. Finally, Broussard needs a tan.



8.) NFL on FOX Studio with Curt Meneffee, Terry Bradshaw, Michael Strahan, Howie Long and Jimmy Johnson


7.) NFL on CBS Studio with James Brown, Dan Marino, Bill Cowher, Shannon Sharpe and Boomer Esiason

I'll talk about these two in tandem. They both kind of followed the same formula. One loud, gregarious, black guy (Strahan & Sharpe), one ex-great QB (Bradshaw, Marino), one ex-coach (JJ and Cowher) and one other guy (Long & Boomer). Both shows have the issue of laughing way, way too much at things that usually are not too funny. The one reason why I put CBS one spot ahead is that they seem to give a little more actual worthwhile analysis. Also, I love James Brown and find him a lot more palatable than Curt Menefee.



6.) ESPN Grand Slam Coverage with Chris Fowler, Chris McKendry, Darren Cahill, Brad Gilbert, Pam Shriver & Mary Joe Fernandez

This crew mixes and matches with each other (with either Fowler or McKendry being the host, and the others providing analysis). They are used at their most effective in Australia (where ESPN doesn't care to really pimp it out with Hannah Storm, or schintzy studios), and they are really, really good. Tennis coverage has a lot more downtime than one would expect and they do a great job keeping it interesting with good analysis and underratedly good humor that goes through multiple accents (Cahill's Australian brand of humor is great). Plus, Fowler is money as a host. One of ESPN's last few genuinely great personalities.



5.) ESPN Sunday NFL Countdown with Chris Berman, Tom Jackson, Steve Young and Michael Irvin

They were only a tandem from 2003-2005, but this was ESPN Sunday Countdown at its best. Again, ti was before ESPN took a hammer and beat Countdown to death as it is now, but back then, the show had great chemistry. Berman is ingratiating doing highlights with his stupid phrases and voices, but he is a really good host, great at splitting time between all the analysts. Young and Irvin had great interplay, and Jackson is still among the most genuine analysts. These were also the days where Rush Limbaugh was on the show, and it gets more credit just for that experiment, which people forget really did work, and what Rush said wasn't even that bad (Watch the clip - right before break, Irvin says "Rush is right:).


4.) ESPN Basketball College Gameday with Rece Davis, Digger Phelps, Jay Bilas and Hubert Davis

To me, basketball Gameday is a little more un-ESPNed as football Gameday, with Corso and his mascot heads. I think Fowler is a better host than Rece Davis, but that doesn't make up for the fact that those three analysts work really well together. The only one that is kind of expendable is Hubert Davis, because his kind of Bilas-lite, but he doesn't try too much. None of these really go for laughs (which is why I don't put Vitale with them), and I love the little things like Bilas's impeccable diction and Digger's matching hi-liter and tie.



3.) NFL Network Gameday Final with Rich Eisen, Deion Sanders and Steve Marriuci

This group is no more because Eisen finally gets time off with Fran Charles now replacing him for Gameday Final and Michael Irvin coming along, but when these three were doing Gameday Final from 2008-2010, they were special. Eisen has really shone at everything he has done since leaving ESPN, with a great witty attitude with a likable hint of arrogance. Deion in highlight settings is quite funny, and Marriuci worked really well with Deion. I would not want Deion giving too much analysis because he has too many 'boys' in the NFL, but there is not much time for analysis in this show. Just highlights and three guys having a lot of fun together.



2.) ESPN's Basetball Tonight with Karl Ravech, Harold Reynolds, Peter Gammons and Tim Kurkjian

They were doing the show as a foursome primarily from 2002-2004. At this point Baseball Tonight was an untouched dream of a show. (it was ruined permanently by John Kruk and having stupid segments with made up arguments). Ravech is a brilliant host. Reynolds gave really good analysis of game situations. Gammons is a legend. Kurkjian's voice just makes me smile. There wasn't much humor in the show, but man was it exceedingly well coordinated with these four. It was a baseball nerds dream, and just a great place to escape every night at 10 with four guys that loved baseball in every way possible.



1.) TNT's Inside the NBA with Ernie Johnson, Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith

What else? The team that set the standard for studio analysis. There is no studio show I have ever seen with better chemistry. After 10 years together, this threesome does seem to truly love each other. They know each other so well, and can poke and prod each other at ease. Charles Barkley is one of the most famous basketball players in the world, but he doesn't act above Kenny or EJ. Ernie is awesome as a host, and really quick-witted. Kenny gives good analysis, which makes up for Charles being hit-or-miss in that department. What they do, overall, is keep you entertained and wanting to spend time with them. What I love about Inside is that it is truly free. Charles has cursed multiple times on air. He's insulted (playfully, usually) the staff and crew working the show. They give inane opinions. They have fun, and TNT has never tried to force them to do anything other than bring in Shaq, which admittedly looked good on paper. I love Inside the NBA, and I hope it never stops.


Announcing Teams



8,767.) John Miller and Joe Morgan (ESPN Sunday Night Baseball)

I would take any national announcing team over this duo. Miller was an average play-by-play, and Joe Morgan was trapped in 1980. Their total blind hatred of any new metrics or any new way to think about baseball was grating. Thank God, ESPN finally realized that these two are just lost in today's baseball world.



4,256.) Joe Buck and Tim McCarver (MLB on FOX)

I find it sad that baseball announcing on the national level is just awful in every way. Buck is actually better in this capacity than in football on the whole (although Buck definitely ramped up the energy in 2011 - so maybe it is getting better), but McCarver is the white, slightly more intuned Joe Morgan. However, the one difference between McCarver and Morgan is that McCarver doesn't shut up as much, and says really awful puns and jokes. Morgan just seems lost.



10.) Jim Nantz and Phil Simms (NFL on CBS)

I hate Phil and Nantz because they are so WASP-ey. Nantz has a serious hard-on for Brady and the Pats. Simms screws up a little too often. The one thing I kind of like with these two is at least they work well together. The end product is not great, but Nantz and Simms know how to fill time, know how to work off of each other. There is no awkwardness that some of the other booths (like Buck, Aikman, Collinsworth from 2002-2004) have.



9.) Mike Patrick, Joe Theismann and Paul Maguire (ESPN Sunday Night Football)

It is interesting people unrelentingly hate this team, and this is probably the announcing team that I am disconnected the most from the general populous, but I loved what this group brought. They did not provide good analysis (although they did well analyzing why the Music City Miracle was indeed a lateral and not a forward pass), but they had a lot of fun together. They had the same energy that a lot of studio shows had, but just during the games. Now, that is not what I usually want from an announcing team, but these three made me laugh, a lot.



8.) Martin Tyler and Andy Gray (Sky Sports/FOX Soccer Premier League/Champions League)

The biggest problem I have with soccer announcing is that the play-by-play guy talks roughly 85% of the time, and the analyst is really marginalized. Now, there isn't that much to analyze on a minute-by-minute basis as some other sports, and there is little downtime to do it (similar problem happens with hockey announcing), but it makes an announcing team seem like 1.5 men talking. That said, Tyler and Gray work really well together, give great analysis when they do, and are the best soccer group for me.



7.) Chris Fowler, Pat McEnroe and Darren Cahill/Brad Gilbert (ESPN2 Tennis)

This is an extension of the ESPN Grand Slam studio show in the above list. Tennis has no play-by-play, so announcing tennis is really different. It really is just filling up the 20 seconds between points, and these guys do it really well. Either Cahill or Gilbert will be in the crowd, giving sideline analysis (which I love when they actually show them talking, and there are random people just watching the game next to them). Pat McEnroe is not his brother, but he's a solid analyst with good opinions and works well with Fowler, who is all-boss all the time. If you want a low-cost, not-too-flashy group that will do nothing less than a solid job, this is a perfect trio. One last random thing about this group is that any time ESPN2 plugs some upcoming sports event or show, they will all weigh in on that sport for the next couple minutes, and all their opinions on the NBA/College BB/NFL or whatever is usually pretty good. They know sports in general, and really know tennis.



6.) Doc Emrick, Ed Olczyk and Pierre Maguire (NHL on NBC)

Since this is all national teams, I can't use my real favorite hockey team of Doc Emrick and Chico Resch (the Devils announcers), which brings them a little further up the list than they should be, given that Doc Emrick is THE BEST play by play guy. His calls are incredible. When a guy misses, or there is a great save, and his voice just goes high and he reacts wildly, it is incredible. The game moves so quickly, and the man who has the puck changes so rapidly, but Emrick never misses a person who has the puck and rattles off those names perfectly, every time. My only issue with this group is McGuire. I love the idea of a guy inside the glass between the bench. It is a great innovation to hockey announcing that works really well. The issue is McGuire too often has his teams that he favors, and he talks a little too much and undercuts Olczyk's time. I actually like the group better in the brief period in round 1 where Olczyk was out sick and it was just the two of them. Either way, because of how incredible Emrick is, the group is held in high regard for me.



5.) Al Michaels and John Madden or Cris Collinsworth

It is easy to knock the highest profile football announcing team in the world (and it definitely was with Al and John, and in my mind still is with Al and Cris), but they really are that consistently good. Al Michaels had/has great chemistry with Madden and then Collinsworth (which isn't always the case with Al, who notoriously had a really frosty relationship with Boomer Esiason during the '99 season). They just have a cache from so many years of MNF/SNF calling massive games basically every weekend that just makes their games feel more important because of Al Michaels and John/CC being there. Both Madden and CC are great analysts, and give insights and analysis of things like line play that most color guys miss. They show the beautiful minutea of a football game. Madden had some grating moments, and CC does now (again, he loves Brady a little too much) and Michaels will be really opinionated for a play-by-play guy, but with them, it always feels like a big game.



4.) Mike Tirico and Hubie Brown (ESPN Basketball)

By far, the most underrated announcing team in a major sport. Pure class and efficiency. There is nothing too flashy with this duo, but they are quality in every respect. Hubie Brown is a brilliant analyst that is very much like Madden in that he will see things and talk about things during the game that most miss (like particular defenses or offensive sets). Tirico, like he does in MNF, is respectful of his role and gives consistently great play-by-play while allowing loads of time for Hubie to talk. The two have great chemistry with each other, and give a lot of information without overshadowing the game itself. They don't get the highest profile games (which is fine, because the group that does is yet to come) but Tirico and Hubie make any game they announce fun and interesting.



3.) Dick Enberg, John McEnroe and Mary Carrillo (US Open on CBS)

"Oh, My!". Dick Enberg retired in 2011 from the US Open (and will be replaced quite well by Bill Macatee), but the real stars are McEnroe and Carrillo, who are brilliant together. McEnroe is incredibly funny, and underrated with his analysis. Carrillo is extremely good as an announcer. She's not scared to call anyone out, or trade barbs with McEnroe, who is not afraid to go right back. Their banter is brilliant together, and Enberg ties this together (I should say that Mac and Mary are also paired with Ted Robinson at Wimbledon and they do a great job there too) with an air of importance with the sport. No team is more interestingly combative and entertaining at the same time.


2.) Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery (March Madness on CBS)

Nantz and Packer were basically Nantz and Simms with the WASP meter up to 11. Nantz and Kellogg are just boring. Gus Johnson is way too excitable in general (I'm not a fan). Verne and Bill should be doing the Final 4. Their region that they announce immediately becomes my favorite region. Raftery is getting old and he's not as wild as he used to be, but he's still the most witty, innovative analysts. Unlike so many other analysts, Raftery's oft-used catch-phrases are fun and enjoyable. Verne has one of the best announcing voices ever, and sets up Raft really well. They are, to me, the most perfectly paired announcing duo that I have ever seen.


1.) Mike Breen, Jeff Van Gundy & Mark Jackson (ESPN Basketball)

My dream NBA announcing scenario is this group paired with Inside the NBA. That would be perfect. Anyway, this trio was so good that I was legitimately furious with the Golden State Warriors for hiring Mark Jackson, robbing me of one-third of the best announcing team in the world. So many great lines. "Bang!", "Hand down... Man down", "Mama, there goes that man again". Finally, add Jeff Van Gundy, who might be the funniest analyst in the world, to the mix and his great ability to go off on tangents that are equally strange and humorous, and you get a perfect cocktail. NBA junkies love this group in every way, from their catchphrases, to the outros I never expected Jeff Van Gundy to be anything close to as funny as he is on ESPN, and the duo of JVG and Breen is still solid, but these three were just pefect. All I can say is 'Bang!" They were magic.

About Me

I am a man who will go by the moniker dmstorm22, or StormyD, but not really StormyD. I'll talk about sports, mainly football, sometimes TV, sometimes other random things, sometimes even bring out some lists (a lot, lot, lot of lists). Enjoy.