Tuesday, July 20, 2010

LeBron: Dick to the Max

I thought it all along, but I never knew just how correct I was: LeBron James is a massive, uninhibited, arrogant, childish dick of a man. He’s a coward, he’s not a warrior, he’s not a champion. He’s not a fighter. He’s a dick, plain and simple.

This has nothing to do with the evil superteam that has now been created in Miami. Sure, they will be the most hated team in sports since the 2007 Patriots, and probably a relatively bigger villain since a basketball team will never be as hated as a football one. Miami is now enemy #1 in American sports. I don’t even totally think they are assured to win titles. Basketball still is a team sport, basketball teams still need player 4-12, and the Heat don’t have those. The Heat also have two players that have really done nothing in the playoffs. LeBron and Wade are way too similar, way too commanding of the ball, and frankly, LeBron has way too much of an ego to be subversive. Either way, LeBron can go out and fall and break his leg tomorrow and I won’t care at all.

LeBron James is a dick, because he is a coward, a fool, and a narcissistic schmuck. He is a coward because picking Miami is basically LeBron saying to the world, “I cannot win a title unless I have one of the three best players in the league on my team.” Even if this was true, LeBron admitting it is ridiculous. Michael Jordan, a guy who is so far above anything LeBron can or will do, would never have willingly gone and signed with Isiah Thomas’ Pistons, or Clyde Drexler’s Blazers when he couldn’t win titles. No, he would have bottled up the energy of playoff defeats and gone out and beat those guys on the head with a bat (he did just that). Kobe Bryant would never go play with D-Wade. LeBron is basically giving up the fight to build a champion together, taking the easy way out. He will never be known as the Greatest player now, because he will never win a champion without Wade on his side. Even if the Heat go out and win 4 titles, Wade will still have one more ring, and one he won without LeBron and with as much (or little depending on how you look at it) talent as LeBron has had in Cleveland these past two years.

LeBron is a fool because he thinks that people love this shit he pulled. He has no idea because all the King does is surround himself with yes-men who fellate him regularly. He thinks everyone loves him, and maybe that was true to a point previously (people like me and others saw through his lovable front he tried to push past us all), but no more. He is also a hated player now. He has gone past Kobe, or A-Rod or Belichick, he is now the biggest sports villain in America. LeBron is a fool if he thinks this will grow his brand. His brand would have been the same had he gone anywhere. The only thing this can grow is Dwayne Wade’s brand.

LeBron is a narcissistic schmuck because of that very same brand. Someone needs to go to LeBron and piss on his face until he understands that he is an ATHLETE. He is not a businessman. Because if he was, he would understand how painfully bad this whole sharade came off, and he would have cancelled his trainwreck of a show. He is not a mogul, he is not an entertainer (he is painfully unfunny when he tries to be funny, and his antics seem so much more forced now), he is a fucking athlete. I hope to God he never becomes a billionaire, because honestly, if you are an athlete and you make a billion dollars, then earn that money by playing your fucking sport. Not by conning the world into believing you are a caring, happy-go-lucky guy. He is more of a narcissistic fuck by having this whole show. Sure, Dwayne Wade had people come and court him, but when he finally settled on staying, there was no show, there was no big fanfare, there was no one-hour special.

LeBron decided to make a huge spectacle of this, decided to make the whole world stop and glue their eyes to the TV and watch this attention-whore make a decision. When Michael came back, he said just that: “I’m Back.” No big show, no interview with Jim Gray, no cahoots with ESPN, and no faux show for his sponsors. When Tim Duncan (a player that is still above LeBron on the career totem pole, and took times half as talented as the 2009 and 2010 Cavs to championships) decided to stay in San Antonio, there was nothing but a phone call to Gregg Popovich saying “I’m ready to go back to work.” LeBron doesn’t want to work, he wants the world to give him babies to kiss and money to launder and ads to promote. LeBron wants the glory, he doesn’t want to work.

LeBron James has now ruined his legacy forever. People will never view him the same way. We all thought he was an arrogant prick when he scheduled this primetime show, and that was even before he decided to cop-out and go to Miami. LeBron James is such a dick, he’s made Dwayne Wade into a bad person, while he deserves so much more. LeBron James is such a fraud. People want to say that he went to Miami because he really wants to win. Sure, he wants to win, but not because he wants to be called a champion, but because he wants to win one because it will increase that brand value of his. LeBron is just a marketing puppet now. It is hard to take someone like him seriously. I hated the throw chalk into the air and dance around like a jackass during meaningless regular season LeBron. I hated the give up in the second round of the playoffs and walk off the field looking completely content and go out and blame your teammates when great players have won with talent just as bad LeBron. But that hate is nothing like it is to give up on trying to win by myself and think only of myself and my insecurities, and decide to take a deuce on the world by going to Miami LeBron. That’s the worst LeBron of all.

To finalize, LeBron is a dick. LeBron is a coward for running away from the challenge of winning himself. LeBron is a fool because he thinks the true reception he will get from the world is unending adoration instead of the reviled contempt that the world now has for him. LeBron is a narcissistic fuck for making this whole thing about him, and by thinking that he is bigger than basketball, something that if it did not exist LeBron would probably be working at Macy’s. LeBron should go take a good look at what he’s done to himself, because God knows we have, and what we see now is the most reviled dick of an athlete in recent memory.

About Me

I am a man who will go by the moniker dmstorm22, or StormyD, but not really StormyD. I'll talk about sports, mainly football, sometimes TV, sometimes other random things, sometimes even bring out some lists (a lot, lot, lot of lists). Enjoy.