Can't believe the regualar season is all most done. It has really been an interesting season. Here we go, psycho-breakdown style.
The Dregs of the League
32.) St. Louis Rams (1-14)
Nothing good to say about this team..... so I won't say anything. However, New York misses you, and Bill Sheridan is really, really wanting you as a boss again, or maybe he just wants you as a shield for when some New Yorker throws slabs of ice at his motionless face.
31.) Kansas City Chiefs (3-12)
They gave up a 98 yard drive to lose the game. That is hard to do, even when your team is already despicable in every level. If he was not Belichick's personal cabana boy, Pioli would be hammered for not making this team better in any tangible way since last year.
30.) Detroit Lions (2-13)
Somehow, they are alive for the last pick, and I'm telling you, if I am Schwartz, Drew the coffee boy is playing QB, not Drew Stafford. Ndamakong Suh is a Haynesworth clone, with a supposed ability to try hard every snap. Jim Schwartz is probably climaxing just at the sight of his frame.
29.) Washington Redskins (4-11)
God, why did I believe in this team at all? Does Mike Shanahan really want to inherit this mess.
Their o-line is average. Their QB is average. Their WRs are below-average (or old). Their defense is good, but Shanny wouldn't know defense if it smacked him in the ass (just ask Larry Coyer). Why? Why, when Chicago is screaming out for you.
28.) Seattle Seahawks (5-10)
What a mess. I bought into the love, but forgot they had a Mr. Collins look-a-like at the helm. That never ends well.
27.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-12)
Good to see them playing hard for Raheem Morris. They could be a landing spot for Cowher, and Morris is probably on the way out, but he has easily risen up to coach rankings (http://loungingpass.blogspot.com/2009/12/nfl-coach-rankings.html). At least he's past Perry Fewell.
26.) Buffalo Bills (5-10)
Speaking of which. That Perry Fewell Fever lasted exactly three games. That was dreadful. Considering that most of the "embarrasment to the league" teams have played much better of late (Tampa, Detroit to some point, Cleveland), it is strange to see what teams have replaced them. And I think losing 31-3 to an average team is cause to put them at those treacherous depths.
25.) Oakland Raiders (5-10)
I will never get this team right. They probably will go out and beat the Ravens now that everyone despises them again after that game against the Browns. I will say this, they are not that far off as people may think. They will be good long before that Pioli-orchestrated mess of a unit is.
24.) Cleveland Browns (4-11)
Take note. The Bengals started last year 1-11-1, and finished with three straight wins. The Browns started this year 1-11, and now have won three straight. Somehow, I don't have the same faith in Brady Quinn and the Browns to do a 2009 Bengals routine than I did in Cincy this year.
Spoilers (or possibly, building momentum that will inevitably be killed over the next eight football-less months)
23.) Jacksonville Jaguars (7-8)
They were a fun tease for 13 weeks. I was in Jacksonville over the last weekend with family. I didn't go out much, but I saw zero enthusiasm for a team that is at least in the mix. That game was on TV as it was a road game, but it got a worse rating than that nights Arby's Crap-a-Burger Bowl.
22.) Miami Dolphins (7-8)
This team has surprised me with the way it layed down the last two weeks. Houston doesn't win those games, against good physical teams. They beat them like Miss Havisham beat Pip.
21.) Chicago Bears (6-9)
Nice performance. However, they still gave up 30 points in one half and blew a 16-0 halftime lead. That is cause for concern, and probably the last nail in Lovie Smith's coffin. It was a nice run for Lovie, taking this team to the playoffs twice, once a Super Bowl, and keeping that team perennially in the mix, but time has come for that train to leave Chicago station.
20.) San Francisco 49ers (7-8)
I still don't think that Alex Smith is the answer, and I even less think that Mike Singletary is the answer. There have been some disastrous lows (the 45-10 home loss to Atlanta that made Bill Walsh stab himself in his grave), but they are around .500, and have improved.
19.) New York Giants (8-7)
God, that was a disaster. This team always took care of business. What happened to the 2008-First5Weeksof2009 Giants? That was the dominant franchise in the league. They were the team to beat. Now, Tom Coughlin is probably fuming again, turning his watch back another five minutes. Eli actually improved, but that running game went to hell. Super Bowl XLII probably bought Coughlin five years, but they better improve next year. This team is as talented as Dallas and Philly. The fact that they crashed and burned is something that needs to be adressed.
18.) Atlanta Falcons (8-7)
They have a shot at finishing over .500. That in itself is cause for celebration. Both of the miracle 2008 teams (Miami, Atlanta) fell off a bit, as expected by me. But in the end, they stayed around .500, setting both up for a good bounce-back year three. That NFC South should be interesting next year.
17.) Tennessee Titans (7-8)
Well, the 2009 resurgence lasted a nice eight weeks. Looks like that loss to Indy killed one half, and the Chargers were the second car, driving them into the ground, breaking into 12 pieces splattering blood and Chris Johnson's hair all over the place. I don't hear near the Chris Johnson is God talk these days.
16.) Carolina Panthers (7-8)
Good way to finish the season. Still not sure if Matt Moore is for real, but if he is, they are immediate contenders next year. DeAngelo and JStew are both in their prime, and Stewart will gain much from this time alone in the spot-light. If they ever get a good second WR, they are the 12-4 team they were in 2008 again.
I Mean, the Cardinals Did It Last Year!!!!
AFC
9.) Denver Broncos (8-7)
Now 2-7 in their last nine, they seem to be a team in free-fall. However, they play tough in most games and have had a diffucut shedule. They turned out to be the team we all thought they were, but that 6-0 start wasn't a total mirage. They will be the ultimate playoff fodder if they sneak in, but for a team that had legitimate thought at the top pick, a good year all around.
8.) New York Jets (8-7)
They probably luck in, especially if New England wins earlier in the day, but they are a team I would gladly like to come back to the Luke in round two. They are a mirage. Their defense is not great against premier competition, and Sanchez is a Shaun King type rookie, not a Flacco or a Roethlisberger.
7.) Pittsburgh Steelers (8-7)
If Houston loses, and one of the Jet/Raven combo loses, they sneak in. I'm sure that the round one team that they will play does not want any part of them, but they did not impress me at all in that Baltimore game. The Ravens gave them that game. It was simple Salvation Army charity-style. They are the champs, but with Troy being not at full strength, if at all in the playoffs, they will need a serious change to make a real run past the divisional round, if that.
6.) Houston Texans (8-7)
They will look back at some of those games and curse themselves. They have a shot at making one last statement, and either way, Kub-es probably keeps his job. I'll say this: I want to thank Matt Schaub for a full, good fantasy season. That was a good start of what might be a Drew Brees 2006-2009 type run the next four years.
5.) Baltimore Ravens (8-7)
They are a team that if they play the way they are capable, they can beat anyone. They still can hold any team to 17-24. Maybe they won't win playoff games 27-9 or 13-10 like last year, but they have enough firepower, especially with Ray Rice being a mini-Chris Johnson in his explosiveness, to beat teams 23-20 or 24-17.
NFC
6.) Dallas Cowboys (10-5)
There is enough there to make a run, but I just don't think they can score enough. That defense is great against the Redskins and Raiders of the world, but when they go to Arizona, or New Orleans (I know, I know, they already beat them) they will have to slow them down, and score, and I think when push comes to shove, it won't happen. The NFC is wide open, and I think that other than the team to follow I could see any team making it to Miami, but I think the Cowboys have the lowest cieling.
5.) Minnesota Vikings (11-4)
I cannot see them in Miami in Super Bowl XLIV, but I would pick them over the Cowboys, since they match up beautifully with them. They can still stop the run, and can still score, Carolina game aside. Also, all those people claiming for Favre-MVP and calling them the best team in football probably feel like Giant idiots, eh Jaworski??
4.) Green Bay Packers (10-5)
They probably scare every NFC team. They can play defense. They had their nightmare game in Pittsburgh. Every good team has one nightmare game (Colts: vs NE. NE: @ NO. NO: vs DAL. DAL: @ GB (or @ NYG). SD: @ PIT. CIN: @ MIN. MIN: the last four weeks), and they've had it. Their running game has really come on strong, which makes them twice as dangerous. Loud, loud out.
If One of Us Don't Win, then the NFL Playoffs is Essentially March Madness without the Co-Eds or the Cheating/Money-Grabbing Coaches
AFC
4.) New England Patriots (10-5)
Not gonna get sucked in by one performance against a dead-team. The Jags played their Super Bowl against the Colts, and had nothing left. That was embarrasing for them. Anyway, this team reaks of a team that will suck everyone in. They are the AFC's "You don't want to play this team come playoff time" team. SD would have been, but after 10 straight, I think everyone now knows that you don't want to play them. The only recent team of said label that won the Super Bowl was the 2005 Steelers. That's it. I still don't think they win a gunfight.
3.) Cincinnatti Bengals (10-5)
They will have emotion on their side, with Chris Henry still fueling them. They are a team much like the 2003 Patriots. However, the Pats were able to win their miracle games (the intentional safety against Denver, the goal-line stand at Indy) while the Bengals lost theirs (the Stokley game, the Oakland loss, Caldwell jet-propelled fumble at San Diego). They have only been truly outplayed twice. That is a sign of a good team. They will make noise, and I would seriously think about picking them again in San Diego.
2.) San Diego Chargers (12-3)
This run can't last forever, can it? That was impressive. I have to give them all the credit in the world. Now, after admitting that, I have to wipe myself of the vomit I just induced after making myself say such heinous things.
1.) Indianapolis Colts (14-1)
They still haven't been beaten at full strength. They still are the team to beat. One game does not change that. Also, it's not like their potential round 2 foes are really that scary, like Pittsburgh in 2005 or San Diego in 2007. Cincy and NE may be good, but neither is as good as those two teams. Plus, that dredge of Wild-Card teams is inevitably a whipping stick for SD or IND.
NFC
3.) Arizona Cardinals (10-5)
They still have that peak. Believe me, after possibly the Eagles they are the scariest team in the NFC. When they are on, they are almost unbeatable. They nuetered the Vikings so much that they have never recovered. Bryant McKinnie is still weeping in his sleep from the thought of the Cards game.
2.) Philadelphia Eagles (11-4)
Scary, scary, scary. No, not the ability of the Eagles. But the thought that everyone is solidly behind the "They are the favorite" line right now. Knowing Donovan McNabb's history in NFC Title Games, no Philly fan is sleeping easily.
1.) New Orleans Saints (13-2)
Don't want to knock them off yet. It happens. They had nothing to play for. They had already lost, taking away any 16-0 adrenaline. That was meaningless. It was a fluke. They were up 17-0. Sure, I am talking utter crap, and probably just trying to cover for picking them, and going full-force on the Saints bandwagon. I'll just say this, the '99 Rams (my Saints comparison all year) lost to the Lions. The Lions. It happens.
Playoff Projections
AFC
1.) Indianapolis Colts 15-1
2.) San Diego Chargers 13-3
3.) Cincinnatti Bengals 11-5
4.) New England Patriots 10-6
5.) Baltimore Ravens 9-7
6.) Denver Broncos 9-7
NFC
1.) New Orleans Saints 14-2
2.) Philadelphia Eagles 12-4
3.) Minnesota Vikings 12-4
4.) Arizona Cardinals 11-5
5.) Green Bay Packers 10-6
6.) Dallas Cowboys 10-6
