Saturday, October 3, 2009

Simmons vs Francesa (The Weirdest, Most Egomaniacal Sports Fued of All-Time)

Mike Francesa, for those who don't know, is by far one of the most egomaniacal jagg-offs in sports radio history. He has some modicum of sports knowledge, but it is his complete and utter inability to ever admit that he was wrong, about anything, that makes him come off as an asshole. He seems to have this feeling that no one in the world, even people who have some credibility, and by "some" I mean that they have actually played the sports in question, can out smart him.

On the other side we have Bill Simmons. For those who don't know, he's the "writer" of The Sports Guy columns on ESPN. I say "writer" because he seems to have forgotten his primary job as a writer, and has become completely enamored by the sound of his nasally voice, as he puts out about three podcasts a week. These (The B.S. Report - Get It!!!!! Its his initials, and code for "bullshit" - that Billy Simmons, he's clever) usually feature people funnier or smarter than him, which is quite entertaining. Either way, he started out as a lowly "blogger" like yours truly (although he is far, far better than I am - or at least he was then), who sold out by joining ESPN, getting castrated, and losing any sense of self-depracation and bitter sarcasm that defined his old work on his "Boston Sports Guy" website, which was quite excellent.

So here are the two sides. This started out becuase Mike Francesa was against Bill Simmons becoming a corporate sponsor for ESPN, as Simmons has been at the head of ESPN's "30 for 30" campaign (which seems excellent, by the way). Somehow, Francesa has seemingly forgot that he has acted as a complete "stooge" (his words about Simmons) for his continual sponsoring of WFAN events. Simmons, then fired back on Twitter (which it seems he has some perverse love for (a twittophile!!! pass it around, that term will become a thing)), saying that Mike was wrong calling him a stooge (which was true), and saying that he has an open invitation for Mike on his podcast. Mike then responds by saying that he would accept an invitation if Bill would ask him, and then verbally assaulted him by saying that Bill is pussying out by not breaking ESPN's rule of appearing on WFAN. Apparently, there was an earlier incident where Simmons said that Francesa did not have the balls to come on his podcast on a Simmons chat, but that was probably in humor. Although, Francesa holds a gruge (he still does not talk to Bill Belichick after he backed out of the Jets job years ago; however, I can't fault either party. I mean, I would certainy not take the Jets job, and moreso, I would certainly not talk to Bill Belichick, in fact I would certainly slap him across the face) I would bet that this is unrelated.

Here's my take. Both parties come off badly. Simmons less so, but his tweet that Francesa was hypocritical in calling him a "fraud" was unsupported and came off a little sour. Yet, Francesa just increases his perception of his being a unsatiable dickhole. Why would he accuse Simmons of, in essence, being a pussy for not breaking ESPN rule and appearing on WFAN. If I were Simmons, getting paid probably upwards of 1 million (I could be the next Simmons, ESPN, just incase you are interested), would I break their rule, a rule that would come with the minimum a suspension. No, I would not. Unlike Francesa, who really plays with WFAN as if it were his personal butler, Simmons cannot just break ESPN rule, to get the I'm sure once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to appear on the most reverent Francesa on the Fan (which has become at least 83% worse since Mad Dog Russo left, becuase unlike Mike, Russo had the ability to admit fault and act like a normal human from time-to-time, and also, Russo was funny). Then, who cares if Simmons is helping to sponsor the 30for30 campaign. Who honestly gives a fuck? As if Mike, approached by WFAN execs to do some ads for the upcoming new show airing at 10AM, and say how it was great, and better than its competitition, would gallantly get on his feet and proclaim, with his voice that soothes the crying babies at night "No, my boss, I will never stoop to those levels." Bullshit, Mike and you know it (sadly, Mike does not read this, as if anyone else is). Who cares if Simmons did not like the Ted Williams HBO special. Its his fucking opinion.

Then, what was even more brilliant, was Mike's stance about Simmons: (taken from Francesa on the Fan, courtesy of the Fantasy555 podcast) “If they would like to invite me to chat with Bill on his whatever-it-is… his website? [Simmons] doesn’t even have a show. [A podcast] is not a show… THIS is a show. Here’s what I’d say to Bill: Bill, get a show, and then you can invite me on your show. That’s not a program you’ve got… what do you want to call it, some kind of a little electronic get-together? Please. We want somebody to be able to hear you, to see you. If we do it at your place, nobody’s gonna know it’s happened. We want there to actually be record of it. We want somebody to actually hear it. It’s called an audience.” Holy shit. Bill's podcast gets fine ratings. It is a show. My favorite part is that Francesa seems ignorant to what a podcast is, calling it an electronic get-together, when his show is spliced up into PODCASTS and given on iTunes. Then he says "We want somebody to be able to hear you." Hey, Mikey, you know how we "somebodies" here him, by pressing the fucking play button on his podcast. Thats how. This is Francesa at his misguided, egocentric, batshit insane best. Also, and I guess this goes to Simmons as well, this whole "I would go on your podcast if you invite me..... we have an open invitation for Mike" crap wreaks of one of those "fights" where each party just pretends to want to throw down, but just kind of feel each other out.
This really is a hilarious, and most telling, case of the Giant, Rhino-Balls sized Ego of Mike Francesa. Simmons is at fault too, but Mike is like the guy who in revenge murders the guy who stole two bucks from him. Hopefully, one day someone will be allowed on Mike's show, with a bigger voice than Mike (as Mike is famous for his ability to just scream like a fucking child when someone tries to disagree with him on certain points). Sadly, Simmons, who lacks the fastball that makes him great (as evidenced by his inability to really prod people on his podcast (which, Mike, is a program and a show and is listenable and recordable and everything else that you said a podcast is not, which you should know about considering we can digest your show as Podcast)), is not this person. This fued hopefully is not over. Simmons, I wish to all my heart, will fire back on his Twitter, and Mike will use his loud, orangutan voice to shoot down Simmons for things that are unrelated. Fight On!

About Me

I am a man who will go by the moniker dmstorm22, or StormyD, but not really StormyD. I'll talk about sports, mainly football, sometimes TV, sometimes other random things, sometimes even bring out some lists (a lot, lot, lot of lists). Enjoy.